Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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