He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
