My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize