Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
