But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
