Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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