A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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