whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
