Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
