Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
