what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
