Dual....:-)
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
