the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She has the best kind of daddy issues
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
