So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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