I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
