Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
