real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
