FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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