we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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