If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
