I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
