Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
