dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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