I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
