just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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