are you still at the devil's house?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
