hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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