I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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