Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
