Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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