this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
