Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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