gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
