your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
