just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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