Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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