I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
