Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
