i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
