i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
