is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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