Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
