I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
