the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
