i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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