textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
