Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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