Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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