but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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