yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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