she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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