69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
