Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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