...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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