dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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