He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
