i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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