Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
