dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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