That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I've blown a few things in my day
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
