Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
