You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
