The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
