The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
