You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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