you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
