Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
