Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
