one word: firstdatebathroomanal
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
A+ Viking dick
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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